
Den Weg zurück in eine Klinik? Ich habe Angst, ich kann doch nicht schon aufgeben, aber anscheinend schlage ich alleine wieder den komplett falschen Weg ein. Seit letzter Woche weiß ich einfach nicht was mit mir los ist. Ich verhalte mich genauso wie früher, als die Magersucht mein einziges Problem war.
" Sag mal schämst du dich dafür, dass du isst oder wieso isst du so komisch?"
Das habe ich heute von meiner sozusagen besten Freundin gesagt bekommen und sie hat so verdammt Recht. Am liebsten würde ich nicht essen, aber ich will nicht noch mehr reinrutschen.
Vorhin war ich kurz davor mich für die kommenden Tage komplett der Krankheit zu überlassen, ihr praktisch ins Messer zu laufen. Ausreden wieso ich nicht esse hätte ich eh gefunden, aber will ich das wirklich? Will ich wirklich in der scheiße stecken bleiben oder will ich wieder glücklich sein, schlafen können ohne Angst vor dem kommendem Tag zu haben? Leider ist mein Entschluss nicht gerade besser, aber immerhin werde ich versuchen zu essen....
Jetzt muss ich noch für Englisch lernen.. Ich schreibe morgen und hab noch kein Stück gelernt..
Das Fressen und Kotzen hat zu lange gedauert... ganze 5 Stunden geplante Lernzeit gingen drauf. Wünscht mir Glück .
:*
ich wünsche dir ganz viel kraft! :-*
AntwortenLöschenIch kann mich so gut in dich hinein versetzen. Man zweifelt an sich weil man das was man am allermeisten auf der Welt will nicht umsetzen kann. Ich weiß auch nicht ob es irgendwann leichter wird, wenn man nur lange genug kämpft, aber wenn wir aufgeben, werden wir es auch nie rausfinden. Ich glaube aber an dich mein Herz. Denk immer dran nach dem Regen kommt immer die Sonne. <3
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