Stark zu sein bedeutet nicht, nie zu fallen. Stark zu sein bedeutet, immer wieder aufzustehen! Stark zu sein bedeutet durchzuhalten und für seine Träume zu kämpfen. Stark zu sein bedeutet, ehrgeizig sein und seine Ziele zu verfolgen. Denn nur wer Stärke hat, kann auch durchhalten & sein Ziel erreichen. Stark zu sein bedeutet nicht mehr so leicht an Dingen zu verzweifeln. Stark zu sein bedeutet es den Leuten, die euch schwach machen wollten einen Denkzettel zu verpassen. Stark sein beginnt mit Selbstbewusstsein und einer guten Ausstrahlung und endet mit Selbsthass und Zweifeln.

We all have something to hide, some dark place inside us we don't want the world to see and this is mine.
“Ich glaube, das schwierigste am Überwinden einer Sucht ist,sie überwinden zu wollen.Ich meine, es gibt doch einen Grund dafür, dass wir abhängig werden, oder?”


26 Februar 2012

Versagerin halt es durch meinen Kopf.

"Fettes Schwein", halt es durch meinen Kopf.
" Seit wann essen wir so viel? Schau doch mal deinen Bauch an, er wächst und wächst".
" Natürlich schau genauer hin, du wirst fetter und fetter. Ach wo wir schonmal dabei sind. Vermisst du mich? Das Nutella, das Fressen?
" Sicher, sicher?  Ich sehs doch in deinen Augen, lüg nich liebes. Und jetzt renn schon runter ich erlaubs dir."
" okei NUR noch heute."

Schnell renne ich runter. Meine Mutter schläft. Das ist gut, das ist wirklich gut. Ich schleiche in die Küche hole den Toaster aus dem Schrank. Meine Hände wissen schon wohin sie greifen müssen. Die restlichen Löffeleier, das halbe Nutellaglas und Jogurt sind schnell weg. Daraufhin folgen noch 6 Scheiben Brot mit fett Streichkäse und Wurst, ein Apfel, Salzstangen, Kakao und verdammt viel Reis mit Gemüse. Tränen laufen mir das Gesicht herunter, hoffentlich schläft sie noch weiter.
Ich dachte ich könnte es schaffen, könnte nein sagen, aber ich bin schwach.
http://a1.idata.over-blog.com/300x229/3/88/75/93/trauriges-madchen.jpgIch hasse mich für diesen Fressanfall, aber ich wusste es schon heute Früh das es soweit kommen wird. Mir gings nicht so gut. Es war nichts körperliches nein, es waren meine Gedanken, mal wieder. Wegen ihnen hab ich heute auch meinem Freund abgesagt, wieso? Er hätte es verhindern können, wenn er gekommen wär, aber an das habe ich nicht gedacht. Ich wollte allein sein, wollte weinen, schreien. Doch das es zum Fressen und Kotzen kommen würde, ahnte ich da noch nicht.
Ich will damit aufhören, aber bin zu schwach nein zu sagen. Ich würde am liebsten nichts essen, aber das macht alles nur noch schlimmer, oder soll ich? Ich bin verwirrt, verdammt nochmal Mia lass mich los!


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