h

h
Stark zu sein bedeutet nicht, nie zu fallen. Stark zu sein bedeutet, immer wieder aufzustehen! Stark zu sein bedeutet durchzuhalten und für seine Träume zu kämpfen. Stark zu sein bedeutet, ehrgeizig sein und seine Ziele zu verfolgen. Denn nur wer Stärke hat, kann auch durchhalten & sein Ziel erreichen. Stark zu sein bedeutet nicht mehr so leicht an Dingen zu verzweifeln. Stark zu sein bedeutet es den Leuten, die euch schwach machen wollten einen Denkzettel zu verpassen. Stark sein beginnt mit Selbstbewusstsein und einer guten Ausstrahlung und endet mit Selbsthass und Zweifeln.

We all have something to hide, some dark place inside us we don't want the world to see and this is mine.
“Ich glaube, das schwierigste am Überwinden einer Sucht ist,sie überwinden zu wollen.Ich meine, es gibt doch einen Grund dafür, dass wir abhängig werden, oder?”

Seiten

04 März 2012

Versagerin, darf ich vorstellen?

sie könn mir alles nehm aber diese Flamme nicht löschen es ist die Aura,
könnt ihr sie spüren meine Aura,
sie woll´n sie haben diese Aura,
der grund hinter allen sie probieren es doch löschen nie diese Flamme die in mir brennt

 Alles weg. All meine Tabletten, meine Pillen, sie sind alle weg. Meine Mutter hat sie gefunden, ist ausgerastet und hat sie weggeworfen. Immer noch droht sie mir mit der geschlossenen, eingesperrt hat sie mich, gequält hat sie mich, aber ich mach immer noch weiter. Ich fange sogar an noch mehr zu essen, öfter zu kotzen, fast zusammenzubrechen und das nur wegen ihr, sie sieht wie ich immer weiter daran kaputt gehe und doch macht sie es immer schlimmer. Wie soll sich mein Zustand den ändern, wenn sie immer strenger wird? Mir kein Stück vertraut? Mir hinterher rennt, sich neben mich beim Essen setzt? Ich fühle mich wie ein Reh, das gejagt wird und das sogar gefangen wurde. 
Ich habe Angst normal zu essen, ich kann gar nichts mehr essen, ohne es nicht auszukotzen. Früher konnte ich noch ohne Probleme, ohne diese Gedanken einen Apfel oder Gemüse essen, aber nun geht das nicht mehr, gar nicht mehr. Was geschieht nur? Ich will nicht noch mehr abrutschen verdammt nochmal. Ich will .. ja das ist die Frage, was will ich nur? Gesund werden will ich nicht, aber so bleiben will ich auch nicht, was den dann?
Morgen ist meine Mum auch erst nach mir daheim. Perfekt um wieder einen FA zu haben, aber nein! Ab morgen muss ich Diät halten verdammt nochmal! Ich werde immer fetter und fetter. Ich rutschte immer tiefer und kann mich an gar nichts mehr festhalten. 
Ich muss morgen einfach stark bleiben, dann mach ich wieder die Diät von meiner Tante. Ich such einfach mein Ana Armband und dann mach ich das schon. 2 Wochen kaum was essen um endlich 10 kg weniger zu wiegen, schaff ich das?
I KNOW I CAN! :) 
 

:*

Kommentare:

  1. das ziel ist viel zu hoch. 10kg in 2 Wochen sind einfach nicht Möglich... 5kg in 2 Wochen habe ich schonmal geschafft, habe aber wirklich kaum gegessen!:-)

    aber wenn du es dir als ziel nimmst, mach es!:-) super motivation!

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  2. Was ist ein Ana Armband ?
    Nicht Aufgeben und weiter kämpfen du schaffst das! ♥
    PS: Das Lied ist toll (:

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  3. 10kg in 2 Wochen sind vielleicht mit einem Ausgangsgewicht von 200kg machbar ja, aber sonst unmöglich! Dein Ziel ist - sorry wenn das jetzt komisch klingt - in deiner Situation sehr unrealistisch und wird dich eher demotivieren! Probiere es doch mal mit 3kg?!

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